The Incessant Noise

There have been two times in my life when I have become acutely aware of silence.

The first time was when I went to visit my brother in a town called Gwelo in Zimbabwe. He was enlisted in the air force at the time and had organized a special treat in an Aircraft Glider. I remember the thrill of experiencing a vehicle that shot into the skies with no roaring engine sound. The silence was so tangible that I found myself unable to utter a sound.

The second time was when I lived in a small town called Swakopmund in Namibia. My husband at the time and I were traveling back from an outing at a country club about 80 Km from home when the lights on our VW Kombi stopped working which led to the van coming to a complete halt. We were stuck in the middle of the only road in the middle of the Namib Desert. It was pitch black. We couldn’t see our hands in front of our faces and it was absolutely silent. Not even a call from a night insect. It was mystifying as even our whispers to each other sounded loud and harsh.

I have never forgotten these two experiences.

Over the years I became conscious of many of the noises that surround us daily.

In nearly all areas of modern life, we are surrounded by noise. We are exposed to noise at work, noise in the street from traffic, and when we listen to music or go to nightclubs or concerts where the volume is too loud.

But, there is a noise that is louder and more constant than any that I have mentioned.

It is the noise in our brains, our own voices that consistently and incessantly bombard us.

Much of the time this voice is quite adept at telling us BD (Bulldust) stories about not being good enough, smart enough, successful enough, confident enough, etc.

This was my story for many decades and through believing the BD, I found myself in a place of constant lack. I had no self-confidence and I had incredibly low self-esteem.

I desperately needed help and I didn’t know where to turn so I just kept falling into a cesspool of despair year after year from my limiting beliefs and bad choices.

What happened for me was incredible because in my despair and embarrassment I reached out to my mentor who not only guided me but challenged me to work on my BD stories and my limiting beliefs.

The exercise he challenged me to do literally changed the control that the voices in my brain had and I became the MASTER of my mind and NOT the SLAVE to it.

This simple exercise (I’ll share 2 steps with you) was not easy for me because of the years of me being the slave to my mind, but I consistently worked at it and here I am today a pretty well-balanced woman who is able to challenge the noise and overcome it with peace and quiet.

The first step is to write down ALL the BD stories, everything that anyone told you that made you believe you were a failure, and everything you have ever told yourself.

The second step is to write down next to each one what it has cost you.

Let me give you an example from one of my old BD stories:

“I’m not good enough.”

The COST of believing this BD story was that I had extremely low self-esteem.

I now know without a shadow of a doubt that there is ALWAYS a solution, ALWAYS a way out and I will ever be grateful to the wonderful mentor who believed in me when I didn’t believe in myself.

“Whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable — if anything is excellent or praiseworthy — think about such things.”